I Met a Turtle

"Oh God, it's allowing bad things to happen, by simply doing nothing!"

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I tend to assume that every time I meet somebody’s pet, the two of us are likely to break the human/animal communication barrier and become fast friends. The owners will gape in amazement as their normally suspicious pets flock towards me, and with the reverence of saints, drop to their knees and bow. Then I will laugh like the Buddha and scruff their jolly heads. It’s a fine system.

However, a new reality has recently established itself. Even though the Buddha thing still works for the most part, now there is a 1 in 10 chance that instead of bowing and scruffing, the animal in question will instead choose to violently murder me.

And so it was with Clemente, who attempted to swim towards my throat and lacerate my jugular vein but was stopped short by the fact that he was trapped in an aquarium. However, he continued to tread water menacingly, and never broke eye contact, and I began to realize that he was studying me. Watching and waiting. Understanding my movements. Hoping against hope that I say my address out loud, so that his full plan can truly metastasize.

But I was careful, and no harm fell to me. But I did learn a bit about Clemente, and made this comic as a reminder that no matter how cute an animal is, there is a small chance that it will bite your fingers off if you give it half a chance.

SCORE: The safety of living under a sheltered roof, away from most turtles.


About Invisichad

Drawing, Writing, Flailing
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